I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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