I wanna passion pit in your ass
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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