Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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