We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
