I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
