doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
