is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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