The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
