Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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