if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
