He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
