The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
