Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
