remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
