Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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