Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
