I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
