why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
