Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i think i have two assholes
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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