Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
