if you like me you must not know who I am
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
