drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
