Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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