repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
