well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
