This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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