the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
