i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize