butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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