You really coming over, don't trick.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
