i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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