If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You are a genius and a whore.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
