yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Randomize