I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
