I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
