I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
