everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
