Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize