Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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