So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
