soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize