just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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