I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
