I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
