Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
