Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm at about main and main street
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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