so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
