Ambien. No doubt about it.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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