I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
