I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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