how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
