I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
