I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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