id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
