Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
