So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
