this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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