why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
