We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is the high leading the old right now
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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