I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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