My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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