I heard we made out
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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