Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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