god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
