you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Come share oat with me in your robe
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
