Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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