i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
