I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize